Tuesday, February 01, 2005

ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT CANDIDATE
Out of town readers may not be aware that a mayoral election is about to take place in LA. I'll spare you all the gory details but LA citizens don't seem to have much to pick from. For one thing, all the candidates are Democrats. Republicans don't even bother fielding a contender because the city is basically a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Democrat Party. While it's amusing to watch liberals savage each other, it's pathetic watching this cast of characters propose the same tired agendas that put the city in the financial hole. They all seem to be saying, "If you don't like what happened in the past, I promise to give you more of it."

Bob Hertzberg is the first candidate to air a TV spot. It looks like it was produced by legendary science fiction shlock-meister BERT I. GORDON. Gordon, known as MISTER BIG, worked the gigantism formula to death in movies like THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN (giant bald guy attacks Las Vegas), WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST (giant bald guy attacks Griffith Park), EARTH vs. THE GIANT SPIDER (giant spider attacks what looks like Palmdale), and BEGINNING OF THE END (giant grasshoppers attack bad background plates of downtown Chicago).

In his ad, Hertzberg looks like a benign Gordon-inspired, 50-foot giant walking around the city in a suit and apparently fixing things like the LAUSD and traffic problems. On the up side, it's a refreshing change from most political ads where the candidate sits in a classroom and pretends to care deeply about teaching kids or is surrounded by uniformed cops and pretends to get tough with crime. On the downside, it makes Hertzberg look like an atomic mutant ready to wipe away traffic jams with the sweep of an arm or crush under-performing public schools. When you're completely out of ideas or have nothing new to contribute, somebody in the campaign must have figured it would be neat to make Hertzberg look like he's about to battle Mecha-Godzilla to the death. Boy do we deserve better.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey wally, I really look forward to your writings and musings but just a little advice, stay away from political candidate or liberal bashing, as theres enough blame to go around. I can remember when the consevatives were in charge and it was no picnic if you were poor or a minority. I can remember not to long ago when if one wasn't a wasp type and one was in the wrong area after sundown you likely got rousted and asked about where you were from and why you were in the wrong place."what are you? "I'm american", cops; bullshit your a mexican! that kind of crap. So please let's not go Rush Limbaugh on us we get plenty of that tired verbiage on am radio.Hope you consider this "constructive critisism" because I really do look forward to what you have to say.

Anonymous said...

So what else is new in Hollywood? I for one don't have a problem with you talking about Rep's or Dem's because we all know that whatever party affiliation a candidate is from there is always gonna be dirt on his shoulder.